


The Six Wives of Loki the Eighth

by phoenixfawkes12



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M, History Mashup, Loki paired with everyone, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixfawkes12/pseuds/phoenixfawkes12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is King and God in England.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Six Wives of Loki the Eighth

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Fill for "Loki is King Henry the 8th and the Avengers are his six wives"
> 
> I warned for 'underage' because Catherine Howard (Tony Stark in this version) was a teenager in her marriage.

_Thor_  
Thor of Aragon was a proud man. He was the son of two of the greatest monarchs Spain had ever seen. He was ordained by God Himself to rule as King Consort of England. His first husband, Arthur, had been short lived in their union. Arthur had been sickly from the start, and died six short months into their marriage. Thor spent the next few years in limbo as King Henry refused to return his dowry and release him to return to Spain. Thor believed in his faith, and in his belief that God meant him to be King, and not simply the Dowager Prince of Wales. So it was that Arthur’s younger brother Loki proposed marriage to keep the dowry and honor the arrangement with Spain. Thor would have his throne yet. 

The years passed happily. The people adored the King and his Consort. The single dark burden on the otherwise happy union was Thor’s inability to provide a male heir. The sole living child that had survived infancy was a female, his sweet Mary. Loki called her his precious Pearl. There had been one son, born alive. Yet he had not seen more than three months before the Lord called him to Heaven.   
Thor prayed and prayed for guidance, for a son. Loki loved him, he told himself. He was resolute that the King loved him. Even as maidens and men filled the empty place in the King’s bed, still Thor told himself that Loki loved him. Even when Sif Blount (called Bess by so many in the Consort’s chambers) conceived and had born the King a bastard son, Thor prayed for guidance and was strong in his faith. His rule was ordained by God. Surely no man or woman could turn asunder what God had joined. Even as a flame haired beauty came to court and turned the King’s head, Thor remained unwavering in his faith. 

He will tire of her, he told himself. He will tire of her, as he has all the others. 

I am the King Consort of England. He cannot leave me. 

And so it was that King Loki the 8th came to the Consort’s chambers and stood in front of him and said “Our marriage is at an end. I married my brother’s husband and have gravely offended God.” Thor clung to Loki, begged him to reconsider. When he would not Thor did the only thing left to him. He dug in. He refused all offers to retire to a peaceful nunnery. He refused to grant the King a divorce. Even as he was screamed at, he stood firm in his faith. Even as he was sent away to live in a small house in a swampy marsh and forbidden to speak to his Mary, he was serene in his belief that God would see him through this.

I am Thor. I am the King Consort of England. I was born to rule. 

So it was that the first husband of Loki the 8th passed away, alone and forgotten. In his place rose up Loki’s only Queen Consort, Natasha Boleyn.  
\--------------  
 _Natasha_

It was a well known fact that King Loki tired of his bedmates fairly quickly. Men and women passed through the King’s chambers like clockwork. It was exceedingly rare for a lover to keep the King’s interest for more than a few months. The longest affair he’d been known to have been with Mary Boleyn. 

Once Mary was married off and away from court, the King began to stray from the Consort’s side again. Thor’s inability to produce a male heir doomed him. Mary’s failure to keep the King’s interest sealed her fate. 

Observing both these events, Natasha Boleyn learned two things: The King needed a son and the King needed something to keep his interest. Loki was fiercely intelligent and needed to be stimulated. He debated with his advisors and devoured the literature of the age with a hunger that was only matched by his carnal desires. 

Recently returned from an education at the French Court of King Nicholas de Fury, the flame haired beauty entered the King’s orbit as a lady of the Consort’s Chambers. She danced close to him then spun away. She spurned his advances and returned his gifts, claiming she was nothing more than an Ambassador’s daughter, and not worthy of the King’s affections. She did what none before her had ever attempted: she told the King ‘no’. The court waited for the King to banish her for her insolence. 

Instead the King seemed to be under a spell. Natasha ran and Loki chased. She whispered in his ear and he listened. She suggested books and he read. “Are you not a King?” she asked him. “Are you God in your own country? The Pope holds no power over you, Majesty. You make your own destiny.” He asked Thor for a divorce. When he was refused, he broke with Rome. He created a new religion for England, with himself installed as its head. Loki stood alone as God and King in England. 

“Give me a son,” he begged Natasha. “Give me a crown” she replied. She conceived and as her belly grew so did her arrogance. So sure was she that a son quickened in her stomach that she threw fits when the King took other lovers as she neared her confinement. She forgot the principle rule of living in Loki’s orbit: what the King raised he could just as quickly tear down. 

A child was born, but not the promised and long awaited son, but a daughter, sweet Elizabeth. Natasha loved her child with a fierceness that stood in the face of the King’s rage. Natasha and Loki had a fiery passion that blew hot and cold with the seasons. Two more miscarriages and the King began to whisper to his advisors of a curse. She was a witch, he said. She had cast a spell on him; had bewitched him with her dark arts. His gaze had now turned to replacing her with someone pure and untainted, a true virgin. He divorced the Queen on grounds of incest, just as he had with Thor before her. He’d known her sister carnally and therefore could not have a valid and lawful marriage with her. 

So it was that on the Tower Green, the second spouse of King Loki was beheaded for adultery and witchcraft. Before her body was even cold, news came of the King’s engagement to the Lord Bruce Seymour.   
\------------  
 _Bruce_

Loki married Bruce shortly after the death of the previous Consort. He had him proclaimed King Consort, but refused to have Bruce crowned due to the summer plague sweeping through London. Their marriage progressed and the King seemed well pleased. The King Consort championed a return to traditional values and away from the fanfare that had dominated Natasha’s rule. The Consort led his household in daily meditations. He was a strong, steadying presence for the King. It was rumored that Bruce had a severe temper, but none had ever seen it. When asked, his brothers simply stated that “Bruce was not likeable when he was angry.”

Everything seemed ideal until the whole of the North rose up in rebellion against the King’s New Religion and his chief advisor, Phillip Coulson. Bruce pleaded for a pardon for the rebels. It was the only time that he had ever challenged Loki in anything.

Loki smiled and leaned towards his husband. His hand whipped out and fisted in Bruce’s short, curly black hair. “My heart,” he said, his green eyes narrowed. “It would be unwise to challenge me in this. I am the King. You would do well to remember the fate of those that came before you.” He released his husband and stormed from the room. The rebellion was struck down with ruthless bloodshed by the Duchess of Suffolk, Maria Hill.

In early 1537, the King Consort was found to be with child. Loki was joyful in the news, but Bruce was aware that his own neck lay in the sex of the child that grew in him. In September, he went into his confinement. In October word came that the Consort was in labor. For three days and nights Bruce labored to bring forth the child he carried. The King’s physicians advised Loki if labor continued much longer that both Bruce and the child could be lost. They suggested cutting the child from the womb. Just as Loki was preparing to sacrifice the life of another spouse, a courier raced into the King’s chambers. “Majesty, the Consort has delivered of a healthy son.” 

Bruce lay in his chambers, exhausted and feverish from the delivery. _I have done what none of the others have. I have given the king a strong, live son. I am safe. He cannot put me aside now._

England rejoiced in the birth of its true heir, Edward. As the child grew strong, Bruce found his strength failing him. He became increasingly ill and was unable to attend his child’s christening. Loki came to him as the delirium set it. The Consort talked of events past, of friends long dead, of a marriage that was never to be to the daughter of the Ross family, Betty. 

So it was that in giving the King the son that would secure his place and rule, the third spouse of Loki the 8th died of childbed fever.   
\-----------  
 _Clint_

Coulson immediately looked to secure a fourth marriage for the King. The Lord Privy Seal was the architect of the Reformation and instrumental in securing the downfall of Thor, the rise and fall of Natasha and the marriage of Bruce. If there was a profit to be made, Coulson was involved. Rumors swirled that the Earl of Essex was even richer than the King himself. He was always at the King’s elbow offering words of advice. The black clad advisor was a true wordsmith, always quick with a soothing word to temper the King’s anger. 

The problem arose, however, in the fact that the King had three dead spouses. One divorced and exiled in disgrace, one divorced and executed, and a third dead in childbirth. In replacing Thor, Loki had made enemies of the Holy Roman Empire. Spain was closed to him and France’s allegiances shifted with the seasons. What England needed was a strong ally for the Reformation. They also needed money. In his dark depression after the death of Bruce, Loki had drained most of the royal coffers by ordering frivolous building projects. Three years passed before the King consented to a new marriage. Coulson spent months in negotiations. Finally a candidate emerged in the Duke of Cleves. 

Cleves was a true Protestant nation and a member of the Protestant League. The backing of Cleves would go a long way in securing solidarity. 

After seeing a portrait of the Duke, Loki commanded that he must have him as his Consort. Clint of Cleves boarded a ship and traveled to England. He had never seen his intended spouse and when Loki, a master of disguise snuck up on the unsuspecting German, he was quickly and rudely rebuked. Before the marriage ceremony was ever conducted, Loki was displeased with his new spouse. He complained to any who would listen that he had been deceived and Clint looked nothing like his portrait. Against his wishes, the marriage went forward but Loki refused to consummate the union.

Clint’s English was broken but those that took the time to get to know the Consort liked him. He seemed to have a natural skill in card games and games of chance, as well as a hidden talent for archery. He enjoyed accompanying the King on hunts. Loki continued to press for the union to be dissolved. After six months of marriage, he asked Clint to leave court. The marriage was annulled and Clint was gifted with numerous properties and given the title of the King’s Beloved Brother. He continued to attend court events, and developed great relationships with the King’s children. 

The true causality of the Cleves marriage was the Lord Privy Seal, Coulson. The King believed that the advisor had pushed his own agenda and led the King into a false marriage. Coulson was accused of treason and sent to the Tower of London to await the King’s verdict. Despite his skill with words, even Coulson could not bend Loki to his will in this matter. The King lost another spouse, and Coulson lost his head. 

So it was that the fourth spouse of Loki the 8th escaped the axe. The King’s attention turned to one of the Consort’s lords, a fifteen year old by the name of Anthony Howard.   
\----------  
 _Tony_

Loki was aging and he needed another son. He was a second son himself, and knew the importance of having the “spare heir.” He had two daughters, but neither could rule alone. If anything were to happen to Edward, the conflicting religious civil war could tear England apart. Keeping true to his pattern of behavior, Loki went looking for his next Consort from the ranks of the previous one’s inner circle. There was a nimble youth by the name of Antony Howard, who insisted on being called Tony. As it turned out, he was the cousin of Natasha Boleyn. 

Tony enthralled the King. He was adventurous, young, nimble, and seemingly most important of all, completely uninhibited sexually. The King acted like a young man again, unpained by his infirmities. His injured leg seemed to bother him less and he laughed more. He credited it all to his “rose without a thorn.” Loki heaped praise and gifts on the newest Consort. His chambers were covered in the finest garments, the most decedent food, and the most beautiful jewels. Anything Tony wanted, he was given. 

Yet two years into the marriage, the Consort had yet to conceive. The King began to become suspicious of the Consort’s activities. Tony had brought many of his childhood friends to places at court. He had also been spending a great deal of time with Virginia ‘Pepper’ Culpepper, one of the King’s chamberlains. These meetings were facilitated with the aid of James ‘Rhodey’ Boleyn, Lord Rochford, the chief lord of the Consort’s chambers. Boleyn was another relation of Natasha, being married to the Queen’s brother George. The affair between Culpepper and the Consort was discovered. Pepper was arrested and quickly executed for having carnal knowledge of the Consort. 

Tony was confined to chambers while the affair was investigated. As Loki left church at the chapel in Hampton Court, Tony escaped his rooms and run for the King to beg mercy. The guards caught his just before he reached the King and he was drug screaming back to his rooms. Shortly thereafter, the Consort was arrested and charged with high treason and adultery, just as her cousin had been before him. He was sentenced to death.

Rhodey went insane in prison, leading the King to amend the law allowing for the execution of the mentally ill. Tony and Rhodey were lead to the scaffold on Tower Green. As Tony stood to address to masses viewing his execution, he defied the King and refused to ask for forgiveness or the King’s grace. Instead he stated: “I come here to die. I die a King, but I should rather have died the husband of Pepper.”

So it was that the fifth spouse of Loki the 8th shared his cousin’s fate and lost his head to the executioner’s blade.   
\------------  
 _Steve_

Steven Parr was a widower twice over. He had estates and lands in the North and was a wealthy man in his own right. He was kind, steady and surefooted. He was also hopelessly in love with the brother of Bruce Seymour, James. Due to a long friendship with the first King Consort, Thor, Steve was on good terms with his daughter Mary. It was in her household that Steve was noticed by the King. Loki assigned his rival Bucky to an ambassadorship in Belgium and married the widower himself once Bucky was out of the country. 

The King wanted one, last great battle, so he appointed his Consort as regent in his stead and went to war with Nicholas de Fury and France. Steve stood in his stead and for three months ran the country. Loki was deeply impressed and upon his return asked Steve for more counsel. The Consort’s religious leanings brought him into direct conflict with the Bishop of Winchester. Johan Schmidt was known among the court as the ‘Red Skull’ due to the red cap he wore. Rumors swirled that it was the Cardinal’s cap of the late Cardinal Woolsey. Schmidt tried to poison the King against his latest spouse with whispers of religious upheaval and the influence this might have on the King’s son. 

Aware of the plot against him, Steve explained to the King that he only spoke of religious matters to take Loki’s mind off of the painful ulcer on his leg. The King happily reconciled his differences with his Consort. When a guard attempted to arrest Steve, Loki flew into a rage and had the man beaten and Schmidt dismissed in disgrace from court. 

As Loki continued to age, Steve remained by his side. 

So it was that Steve Parr, the sixth spouse of Loki the 8th, did something that no Consort before him had achieved. 

He outlived the King.


End file.
